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I've been cranky for quiet some time now. I've realized that I was being too much on my rantings about my work and my schedule. I've been preoccupied of not having enough rest. Not having much quality time with you. The time where I could open up but I still don't know until when my work's going to haunt me? This is only this week. I was pissed off of not having the sought-after 2-10 PM shift where I wouldn't care to have sleepless nights talking with you over the fone and go to work the next day at 2PM and do the same ritual after work. Forgive me. Forgive me for the things I have said to you. Drained and tired—I have reached my breaking point. I called coz I wanna connect with you. I just don't understand what went wrong really... Forgive me. I love you. ♥

Tonterias Gala Night

Gala tonteria with my tonto friends at Bigby's a.k.a. balikbayan slash Dov's 'birthday' bash. LOL. After 14 years and still together. Forever. ♥

Uptown Food Trip

Love you both! I'm glad to see us together again. Till the next uptown food trip. ☺

Ñ vs. Ç

After almost 2 years of stagnation, in spite of the fact that I currently have a decent job, I'm finally back in school. But I'm left with a question whether to compromise or to stand firm with my ideologies. I'll be learning French and I hate it but I have to. Among the Romance Languages, Française is the least that I like. I would definitely disagree that it is the language of love. I've been constantly learning Spanish for more than 2 years now. I do have problems with my listening skills especially when conversing with native speakers. Each Hispanic country has their own accent, their own way of expressing things of the same Spanish of Spain. Being a Filipino, Spanish is something that is ours. I could never forsake the Hispanic portion of my culture. It made my identity complete in all areas. It is my dream to teach it to my offspring and pass it on to their children. It is my delight to see them enjoy the novels and poems of our great revolutionary heroes in the language of Cervantes, how it influenced our local dialects and how it became unique from the other. For now, Française it is.. to comply for 'future' purposes. Somehow I know it's going to be fun because I'll be learning a new language with a cousin, my ex's ex (LOL), 2 of my cousin's friends and a grade school/high school classmate. Yes, photos.. soon.☺

Classes will be on:

Tuesday February 1, 2011 5.30 PM- 7.30 PM  

Lucas Hall Xavier University Ateneo de Cagayan

Fiesta de Despedida

It was really fun being with you for a year. Despite the fact that people tried to pull you down, you and they defy gravity. You stood still. They. Hehe. Sorry for screwing up that bokeh effect. After all you weren't the subject in this photo. =P I really hate goodbyes but I'm pretty optimistic that our paths that's you and our group will meet someday. Dream BIG and fly. I'm going to miss your smirks your rantings about your elderly friends at work and work's complexities itself. Thanks for laughing at my antics especially the time when I tried to do Mr. Bean and mimic how one of your elderly friends walk, their mannerisms and the like. We're going to take care of each other. That's a sure thing. Can I have your locker?☺

My Post-Birthday Rants & You

Hey, I know you're mad and disappointed. Forgive me for taking you for granted for days. Forgive me for just passing you by every waking moment but I did take a glimpse of you as I pass by the door post. I saw you look back at me. I was given the task to do some stuffs at work for the upcoming Christmas party. I am totally compliant to their demands but with all honesty I'm getting bored with my job and some people around me. It's 'men devouring men' in there. People love to see their comrades down. I wonder why they love that. You've been there and met some of them. Basically, the organization is small. You get to another department with just a few steps. Remember? People smile at you but behind those smiles mask the face of the macabre. It's quite ironic to know that their piercing look isn't even razor-sharp enough to cut you through. Funny people.

I'll make it up to you. I promise. We're going to have a great time after the party. I just hope you would show off in that event. I know you would. We'll be having long trips next week and I'm so excited. We both knew that it would take some time before I could drive again. You'll be meeting some distant relatives and some of my high school classmates that you haven't met. I needed a break from all the toxicities, complexities at work. I don't want to end up growing horns and antlers in fact what I have needed some clipping. I received a lot of greetings last Monday and Tuesday but little did you know that I cried. You were there but I was behind your back. My tears were in extraterrestrial proportions. I never cried that hard on my natal day before not once, not even the time when I couldn't have the toy that I always wanted on my birthday. What happened this year was too overwhelming. I survived. I'm glad that people involved did too.

A friend will be coming home and I'm pretty sure he'll be bringing someone on January. I haven't seen him for more than 2 years. I miss him a lot too. You'll be meeting a new friend early next year! Hey... I'm sorry. It's just you and me, Chimboro. I'm sorry for taking you for granted. I miss you. I know you would understand. I knew it felt cold sitting on that side table but tonight I'll take you back to your crib with your toys and make sure you feel comfortable at the right temperatures. Chimboro... buddy!☺

Random Shots 1

We thought of a theme for that day and it was about stuffs you usually see on the road. But I didn't see anything. Urgh. The weather turned out bad so we ended up strolling around the parched pavements of a certain sports center nearby. I was desperate to shoot something for my post. Chimboro and I were running out of time. I frowned and looked at the unforgiving skies. I dropped my lens cap and stared at this little foliage coming out of the crack. I lounged and focused. Chimboro gave his mechanical flick. I rose with dirt on my hands. 2 shots ha. Tsk. Sige lang... We went home and reviewed the shots we took. It was amazing to realize that even the cracks along the parched pavements are now teeming with life. Philosophical I guess. I smiled.

Día de Todos los Santos

Lo que hemos hecho por los demás y el mundo permanece y es inmortal.

What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
Celebrating life with family at Greenhills with the earthly remains of our beloved Tatay Iko. Nunca te olvidaremos Tay. ♥

Never For Someone Else

It's All Saints Day! Good Morning everyone... Ugh my eyes hurt

For You

I cried today. My tears fall within the crevices of my soul. They sipped through the tight and lose cracks of my heart.  I cry within. My throat has gone numb. That explains the post nasal drip that I'm having right now. Each and every minute of the day I recall how fiery it was how the fires were burning how we first met how those beautiful eyes first set on me. It was magical. Addictive. I just wanna be lost in that sheer madness and out of stupidity it ended. My world fell apart when you left our Eden babe.

My eyes can always tell the sadness and the pain. Guilt is there and no matter how I try to scour for means to help me escape from this sequestered reality I just couldn't. I am trapped with it and pain. I fell to the ground after hearing you weep over the phone. I couldn't move a muscle after hearing you say 'I love you' and that you were still leaving. Your sobs still resonate in my sleep. It cripples me even while writing this post for you. My heart sings for you. It cries out your name. I love you...

Words fail to express your beauty, your affection your love your patience. What I am now is a product of the mores we shared. Part of the way I talk and the way I think is you. You have conquered my identity babe. Now, you're gone... I am fighting because I know you still do. I know it's going to take some time just don't close any chances of love. I have learned the hard way. In your musings of solitude, fly high as the harpies did. I'd be willing to be your prey. I love you always and forever... hoping wishing...

No, I Just Can't

I've been sitting on my bed
With a glass on my hand
Tryin' to figure out a way for me to understand
Through this talk we've just had
The questions I have asked somebody yesterday
About the sign that's in your eyes
About the biggest smile
All your face in the way
Questions I have asked somebody how you feel
Only eyes reveal
Your answer's not for real

But I can't read you mind
Not this time
I just wanna know what you're going through
I don't feel wrong about asking you
But I can't read your mind
Not this time

There are times when you don't wanna say
That there are problems in your head that you can't explain
I have been that way
Baby there's a hunger, a kiss or two
But not forever do
If only I'd reach you

Maybe I'm a child
Maybe I'm a woman
Maybe I am old
Maybe I said something
Reasons, to push me away
Maybe I have laughed
Maybe I have cried
But never did I try
To put hurt on your side

I can't read your mind
Not this time

Just Me & My Guitar

Nothing's more intimate than playing the guitar. It had been ages since I had slid my flabby fingers on its strings. The frets are now crusted with dust and some of its cogs (I'm not sure what you call them) give a squeaky sound as I turn them. The feeling is nostalgic. It reminded of me high school. Worry-free and just pure fun. Tonight I won't be talking about fun and high school. Life had been so rough and work had been so dreary—not the typical feeling of a teenager from a suburb secondary school.

Just me and my guitar... I've realized I get comfort from the strumming of its strings. The thump felt like a pat on my shoulder. The rhythms are smooth and gentle. I need them so much. It's funny I get all of these from an inanimate object made by human hands. I only got myself to deal with this. I wonder what's holding me together and all the while all the answers are just on the tip of my nose. Like oil on water they surface out.  We should know that each one's perspective or point of view is as unique as a fingerprint or the contours of our tongue.  Everything can go haywire and I missed that. But hey I still believe in better days. ☺

Noon at Ngayon

Noon

You: Nah sho bay*tan gyud au ko sa ako tingog
Me: Ngee dili man ako man cgwo kay gamay kaau langi
You: Nah sho nahan man ko sa imo tingog.. cute man!

Ngayon

2 hours ago

You: Lab?
Me: Uu laaab kaayo!
You: Hehehe. Lab kaau (an octave higher) Bayot!

=P

Chuck & I

Me while waiting for my turn at a local salon. ♥

Twing's Hand-Me-Downs

Taken right after school. Toys are always toys whether they're new or hand-me-downs. They still give delight to kids of Twing's age. ♥

Chimboro's New Toy

After 5 months of depriving myself from impulsive buying, I finally have my first prime lens. It's a Nikkor AF-S DX 35 mm 1 : 1.8 G From this moment on I will be posting photos captured by this piece of technology. I can't wait to play this toy with you babe. I'm pretty sure you're gonna love this so much. I will still take pride in posting your shots babe. I'm your no. 1 fan! ♥

Dinner In Bed

Grilled Rodeo Chops with cranberry sauce and Boomerang Shrimps. The dishes weren't warm anymore but that was one of the best moments I had with you. Our first dinner in bed. I'm surprised that you were able to demonstrate depth of field well. ♥

Pure Talent

Our monthly Thursday getaways had always been exciting. I never thought that you would take interest in exploring Chimboro's buttons and dials. You left me dumbfounded. Your shots were great babe! Your compositions were good! I take pride in posting them in this blog. It's all in your hands. Yours is pure talent. It's not the cam but the hands. Your hands though small they fit to mine. Keep up the good work. We'll go around to practice one of these days. Hey! We're gonna get that camera. ♥

Looking Back

You: Unsay translation ato?

Me: Wala rato kai.. 'Wala ko kabalo nga romantic diay ka'

You: Aah. Hehe.

Me: Grabe naa diay ka ingana nga side pud diay? Anyway tulog sa ko.. Abay ta tulog hehe yaw lang hagok

You: Hoy di pud intawon ko ga hagok matulog... hehe.

Me: Nyt nyt sir :-*

You: Nyt nyt pud :-*

Me: Hehehe. :-*

You: Tawag ko nimo unya

Me: Ha? Uhmm sige² morning pa raba ko later

You: Kadali lang lage

Me: Okey di paman ko tanto katulgon

1 hour later..

Me: Uy mag tawag paka?

You: Uu  mgtawag ko naa lang koy ihatod

Carlo: Kinsa na? Si Grace?

Me: Ah okey² naa raba unta koy i ingon sa imo pero unya na lang :) hehehe

You: Ah ok tawag lang ko unya pag abot sa balay ayaw sa tulog ha?

Me: Okey :)

...

The nostalgia behind this conversation is addictive. It reminds me of our humble beginnings, still fresh and it seems new to me. Our SMS messages were on a fast drip. No drop missed a second. Back then, our talks were already long. Even my eyes smiled every time I received your messages. It was exciting. The feeling was like winning a lottery! My heart skipped a beat. Before we even exchanged numbers, I was so curious about that guy behind those shiny spectacles, behind those broad shoulders and strong arms.. behind your sweetest smile. Oh that smile that swept me away.. And now, 5 months later, the feeling is still exactly the same. Nothing changed. ♥

The Best

The Best

John Ondrasik

Click here to listen

What kind of love is the best kind of love?
The one above all the rest of the loves
Grab a bat, a hat, a ball and a glove
It's the love that I feel for you

What kind of day is the best kind of day?
Makes up for all the rest of the days?
The park, the backyard, I don't care where we play
As long as I'm with you.

You know I miss you deep inside.
I wish we could go outside
To have a catch or two...

What kind of place is the strange, scary place?
And who put these tears and this dirt on my face?
No matter the score or the count at the plate,
I'll still be swinging for you.

Cause I need you in my life,
I wish that we could go outside.
Just to have a catch or two,
Me and you.

What kind of love is the best kind of love?
The love above all the rest of the loves?
Take the ball, the hat, my bat and my glove
They're a whole lot of nothing with you.

And I'll be waiting here outside
Spring or fall, rain or shine
To have a catch or two. . .

Cause your kind of love is the best kind of love
The best that love could ever do.